CHLOES
PARADOXES
DOUBLE LIFE
AND THE ETERNAL
GNAWING
QUEST

Sonja Dolzer, June 2020

Chloe enjoys inhaling the spicy air on her morning walk around the shimmering dark gray, silent Schwarzsee. Finally having time for herself again, being able to let her thoughts run free, but at the same time enjoying the mantra-like ritual that has so often fired her creativity. The eerie moor with all its ghosts and witches feeds Chloe's spirituality and grounds the sporty beauty, who allows herself the priceless luxury of two refreshing muses, that of nature and that of exercise. Two indispensable elixirs without which she could never exist.
She must feel the vitality of her body. Every muscle, every movement, every turn of the brain. Chloe's body falls into a gentle, constant rhythm almost by itself. She knows this magical moment all too well. How often has she longed for it, but rarely attained it, the moment of flow. Slowly her body begins to relax further, she comes down. Everything begins to flow, to pulsate. Chloe senses the oneness of her body and mind with nature, and in a flash anticipates this redemptive transgressive moment. Thousands of flashes of inspiration have already befell the one who shuttles between worlds, living in parallel worlds. Wonderful moments that give Chloe almost inexhaustible strength to continue her demanding QUEST persistently, often steering against fierce headwinds, with an alpine stubbornness.

WONDERFUL MOMENTS THAT GIVE CHLOE ALMOST INEXHAUSTIBLE POWER.

Deeply immersed in the unspeakable vastness of her mind, Psyche crosses her path. Chloe has known Psyche for a few months and is fascinated by the young, inexperienced, extremely self-confident woman, who has so far only known the sunny side of life, always radiating positivity, the winner par excellence. But Psyche does not only meet Chloe in real life, Psyche also accompanies Chloe in her thoughts and touches her soul deeply. Chloe feels more and more how important Psyche has become to her. She is something like her third, virtual muse. She gives her her youthfulness, her light-heartedness, her idealism, her sense of justice, her irrepressible optimism, and she teaches her the goddess in the woman that she has never been able to discover in herself.

CHLOES PARADOXES DOUBLE LIFE AND THE ETERNAL NAGGING QUEST - Andrea Langensiepen

Completely lost in thought, Chloe is walking along a stony path when she suddenly sees a huddled young woman on the shore. Instinctively, she realizes that it must be an emergency. Was the young woman trying to get into the water? Thousands of thoughts flash through her mind. Intuitively, she grasps the situation and immediately runs to the shore without hesitation. As she approaches, she realizes with dismay that it is her beloved friend Psyche. Something terrible, unprecedented must have happened. At the latest when Chloe sees Psyche's face up close and faces her, she realizes the full scope of the situation. At this point, Psyche is unable to talk about what has happened. The situation is too unbearable for her.

Only when Chloe takes her in her arms and comforts her does everything suddenly bubble out of Psyche. Fragmentally, she tells the story of Eros, her lover, a dynamic young beau whom she finally won over, at least temporarily, after a long journey. Temporarily immediately made Chloe suspicious. Why on earth did Eros, unknown to her, not always want to find his happiness with Psyche? Such a fascinating, intelligent, self-confident woman. But there was no sign of that today. Quietly, almost inaudibly, she relates that Eros took many liberties, always pleasing Psyche only at night and always leaving her at dawn. For a few months Psyche was so inspired by this happiness that this permanent abandonment did not bother her, but added fuel to the fire. The magic of love, the unforgettable togetherness gave strength and confidence to the happy one.
A few months later, the inevitable fate took its course. In stormy excitement Psyche hurt Eros in such a way that he went away completely disturbed. For the self-confident Psyche, it was only a small, insignificant mishap at this point, but for Eros it was a fundamental experience and a sign to leave his great love, for whom he had fought for a long time, forever.

Only after weeks of searching did Psyche realize that she had lost Eros for good. Because no one could help her. Longingly, she remembered the happiest time in her life. No one else would ever be able to give her that magic of love again, that magical spell of a single moment that everyone dreams of. The moor was to be her new home for eternity today, here and now. Chloe trembled with horror all over her body when she realized all the suffering of her muse. She must support her, give her a foothold and free her from the evil demons she had never known.

CHLOES PARADOXES DOUBLE LIFE AND THE ETERNAL NAGGING QUEST - Andrea Langensiepen

Without further ado, she decides to change her daily schedule, not to go to the office, but to take Psyche with her for the first time to her inner sanctum, her studio. Only a very few confidants are allowed into this refuge, which is located in an old barn near the Wild Kaiser and holds many a secret. Psyche is initially hesitant, but at the same moment she senses the positive energy of her heart's friend. Silently, they make a pilgrimage together through the morning, enjoying each other's presence.

A certain curiosity rises in Psyche. What would she expect? What exciting secret hides behind the facade? In Chloe's case, great excitement is paired with burgeoning anticipation. For the first time, she can tell her friend her own personal story. About her parallel worlds, her love of art and the sometimes quite demanding, sometimes even torturous QUEST, which until now she has only let a handful of confidants in on and let them share in. Crossing the threshold, they both feel the magic of the moment, the spell that would bind them together forever in the future. Psyche is impressed by the incredible aura of the huge room, which seemed almost sacred.

THE MAGIC
OF THE MOMENT.

At first, her gaze wanders slowly through the hallowed halls before steadily picking up speed until, staccato-like, it settles again and again on a work of art that literally catches the Kunstaffinen's eye. After just a few minutes, she is so overwhelmed by what she has experienced that she has to pause. Both take a seat on a purple, velvet divan. Coziness and homeliness spread instantly as they take a bird's eye view of the entire studio from the small gallery. An incredible silence suddenly dominates the room and the two confidants entfliehen into another world. They dream of the most wonderful landscapes they had ever seen or will yet see together. Of Venice with all its historical splendor and culture, of Delfinen cavorting in the lagoon again and saving lives as angels of the seas, of Elysion, where only people lived who were loved by gods and wanted to be given immortality, and of the paradisiacal island of Lesbos, which had a decisive influence on Chloe.

CHLOES PARADOXES DOUBLE LIFE AND THE ETERNAL NAGGING QUEST - Andrea Langensiepen
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The two enjoy the journey to these disarmingly beautiful places, reminisce, feel the true life, the great freedom and feel it as the ultimate happiness to be able to share such beautiful things with each other in intimate togetherness.
But suddenly Psyche's face darkens. She awakens from her blissful stupor, for Eros returns with all his concentrated power directly in her body. She feels all over her body what a huge void he has left, how painful it feels to live without him, even alongside her trusted friend. Chloe is inconsolable and begins to tell her own story. She tells of Daphnis, whom she met and fell in love with in her childhood. Of the many sufferings and aberrations until she finally married him. About the countless exciting adventures of marriage, the acceptance of each other's idiosyncrasies and the joint development into the couple they are today. Of living together in the country, temporarily escaping together to other territories, and returning to their beloved and promised homeland. Chloe goes into raptures, euphorically describing her happiest moments in colorful metaphors and realizing that it is by no means only the first infatuation phase when Cupid's arrow hit her, but rather the entire relationship history and, above all, the very conscious decision for a particular person. Courageous lovers befind themselves in a continuous state of change and interact emphatically with the beloved.

Chloe is inspired by the thought that her counterpart is blossoming, that she is developing together with him, seeing a common perspective and planning the future. Psyche looks irritated into Chloe's dark almond-shaped eyes. This facet of a relationship is completely foreign to her. She knows for herself the body-enveloping, transcendental ecstasy as the source of her happiness. She has not known all other aspects until now. Psyche urges Chloe to tell more about her innermost being. Intuitively, she senses the healing power of sharing what she has experienced, the broadening of horizons and resilience it brings, which could mean tremendous things for her battered soul. With caution, and much more hesitantly than before, Chloe also begins to tell of her deviations, of her double life and the darker sides of her life.

To the outside world, Chloe is successful, climbing one peak after another, befinds herself on the winning track. But now she is ready to talk about her double life, her doubts, her confusions, and to come out of the closet. At this moment, she deliberately turns her innermost self inside out, gives up any cover. Because she wants to show Psyche that you can only experience lasting happiness if you accept all these aberrations and see them as part of your own greater whole.

DOUBLE LIFE, DOUBTS,
ABERRATIONS.

An extremely curious person, Chloe is always on the lookout for new experiences and, as a heroic Amazon, is always searching for the visionary. This opens up new horizons for her, breaking through glass ceilings and opening countless new gates. One gate she regrets entering, however, is the one into the world of Pan. One warm summer evening, the nature-loving Chloe crosses a heavily mossy forest clearing and feels the last tender rays of sunlight on the ferns. Absorbed, she pauses. Then Pan shoots out of a dark corner with all his mighty power.

CHLOES PARADOXES DOUBLE LIFE AND THE ETERNAL NAGGING QUEST - Andrea Langensiepen

Startled, she stares at him and is immediately attracted by his animal beauty. A few fractions of a second later she recognizes a unique fascination for her, Pan is half man, half animal. She falls head over heels in love with him, suspecting that he will bring unrest into her life, which until then had been so constant. At this point, Pan's heart beats for someone else.
Nevertheless, he enchants Chloe with his softly sounding flute, which transports her to another world, breathing the spirit of the forest into her anew. In doing so, she forgets everything around her, not seeing how much teuflic and voluptuous there is in him. She thinks to inhale the life and is inspired by the exuberant happiness, which is short-lived, because Chloe remains alone.

With this, Chloe shows her friend very openly that she too has already experienced the drama of the almighty love sorrow and suffered enormously from it. But Pan and Daphnis will always live on in Chloe, inspire her throughout her life, accompany and guide her in her QUEST for the meaning of life, for happiness and contentment.
Chloe's QUEST has always been a lifelong journey and examination of everything creative, always oscillating between two diametrically opposed worlds. Between the traditional and the modern, between art & design. What they all have in common is the omnipresent search for perfection, the desire to create something unprecedented, something lasting that will inspire future generations.
Psyche understands this all too well. Because for her, too, creativity is the driving force behind a happy, fulfilled life. In her young life, she has always inspired those around her with her extensive knowledge and infinite beauty, while also motivating them in an extremely positive way. However, when she realizes that her counterpart takes everything lightly, she expresses her criticism openly and relentlessly.

LIFELONG
JOURNEY

Because dishonesty and mediocrity must be avoided at all costs. It is necessary to fight courageously and persistently even against great resistance. Psyche Chloe has once again spoken out of her tortured soul. She has been fighting for her art since the beginning of her successful career. Everything always feels heavy and distant at the beginning. Constantly crossing significant thresholds takes an enormous amount of strength. It is a marathon that has to be overcome. Not a short sprint where you flash your skills and immediately shine with genius. Only the others experience that. Chloe compares her own personal artistic process to a complicated pregnancy that usually ends in a dramatic birth. Nothing flows easily to her. She conceals her agony with great vehemence. She would never share with the public these most intimate moments. Because she fears that this could rub off on the radiance of the works, especially since a large number of art collectors consider precisely this lightness to be fundamental. Psyche recognizes another facet of Chloe and is most happy about it.

CHLOES PARADOXES DOUBLE LIFE AND THE ETERNAL NAGGING QUEST - Andrea Langensiepen

The roar of thunder fills the huge room when suddenly a bolt of lightning strikes in the immediate vicinity and the eyes of the two meet by chance. Magically connected, the two pairs of eyes wander, as if attracted by a magnet, to a work of art by Chloe that was completed only a few days ago. Psyche scans the painting with her alert eyes, almost physically feels the gentle color vibrations, discovers her own personal power centers in the abstract painting, which magically attract her. The light, which with enormous power gives the large format infinite radiance, wringing all facets from the abstraction. Psyche thought of Peter Handke's words: In a picture, the outside and the inside seem to merge into a third dimension, into something much larger and more permanent.

With this, she recognizes the excellence of the artwork, the tremendous dynamism that is in Chloe's free painting. Tears slowly rise in Chloe's eyes. Her joy is exuberant. For the first time, someone so familiar to her has expressed something so beautiful through her painting. Finally, the artist feels understood and arrived.

A true male friendship developed between Daphnis and Eros. The two Olympians finished the marathon on Lesbos in record time. Pan was the only one left behind, unhappy.

THE EXCELLENCE OF THE ARTWORK, THE TREMENDOUS DYNAMISM INHERENT IN CHLOE'S FREE PAINTING.

CHLOES PARADOXES DOUBLE LIFE AND THE ETERNAL NAGGING QUEST - Andrea Langensiepen
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